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Upbeat Spiritual Living:  Secret Forms of Love

October 6, 2017

© 2017 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.  


love, love codes, how we love


Today we’re talking about Secret Forms of Love.  There are so many forms of love and caring that we miss, because we don’t recognize them.  And if you can’t recognize loving signals, those are simply secret from you.    We are about to decode them.

All of us can figure out that someone loves us if they say so.  But we miss other signals and we miss opportunities to express our caring to others, in ways they can recognize.  Especially if you’ve been wanting to experience more love and caring, here are some tips to change that.  Notice when people are connecting with you, in however light and brief a way:

  • Someone smiles and says “hello!” They find you interesting enough to connect.
  • Someone compliments you.
  • Someone offers you their newspaper as they are leaving the café.
  • Someone lets you know one of your tires is very low.
  • The class waits to start until you arrive several minutes late.
  • An acquaintance suggests you get together for coffee.
  • A committee member touches your arm as they go by.

People express love and caring in a half-dozen different “codes”—words, doing-for, gifting, spending time with, touching, and giving money.  If someone conveys caring in words, and you want to express caring back, they are most likely to receive it in words.  So speak it, to this person.  If your friend is always doing things for you, do something for him/her, and he/she will feel cared about.  And so on with each secret form, or code, of expressing love.

So here are some light ways for you to express caring and love.  Genuine gestures, only, please:

  • Smile happily and say “hello!’ in a friendly way. Practice at church and Rotary.
  • Compliment someone. Remember, it’s “how great you look in that dress!”  Do not say, “what a great dress!”
  • Before you leave the café, ask the people at the next table if they would enjoy having your paper.
  • Ask someone if they know their tire is low or their headlamp is out.
  • If someone drops something, pick it up for them, and smile happily.
  • If you are expecting a committee member who is usually on time, wait a few minutes for them to arrive before you start.
  • Think of someone from church or a class that you would like to know better, and ask them if they would like to possibly have coffee sometime. If they say they are awfully busy, well, you tried.  If their face or voice brightens, schedule it.
  • Place your hand lightly on a friend’s shoulder or back as you go by.
  • Offer plant clippings from your garden. Some will respond with joy, delight, and a new level of friendship.

In John 13:34 (NIV), Jesus tells us we must love one another.  Be a part of that as you receive and share caring and love.  There is always more love to share and always more subtle Secret Forms of Love for expressing it.  And that’s Upbeat Spiritual Livingsm!


  • Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (, plus Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.   Her newest book is Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire.  It is available from her office in full-color print or full-color PDF versions.
  • For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM

2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 6, 2017 7:21 PM

    How neat! I love the idea of receiving something as the energy of love because of what it will do for you to think of it that way. But also wonderful, is that we can give that same energy just because we intend it, when we do sweet things for others.

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