Funeral Stress and Joy
© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.
Recently, I experienced another afternoon of funeral stress and joy: that intense mixed immersion in all the emotions of a loved one’s life having ended. Because I was not officiating the service, I could simply let go and feel and think whatever I needed to feel and think. As always, I felt alternating sadness and joy. How confusing! And how wonderful. We need to go through those stages as we grieve.
On this occasion, we were celebrating the life of a friend named Elliott. Elliott was always eager, optimistic, and cheerful, with a huge smile. Just the sight of him was uplifting. At the service, people from every stage of Elliott’s life spoke about his easy sense of humor and how he surprised and cheered people. He was open to life, open to adventure, open to joy. An executive from his longtime employer told of trying to make a video, and no one knew how to use the hula hoops—until they turned and saw Elliott using one like a pro. They still use that video at that company. A retiree of several years now, Elliott was first on the scene of church events and the last volunteer to leave. At the church thrift store, he put together interview outfits for people who couldn’t afford clothes. He loved happy hours and conversations on diverse subjects.
There’s funeral stress and there’s funeral joy. We will miss Elliott, and we have painful and sad moments about his being gone. At the same time, we are joyful that he is no longer ill with cancer, and that he is now having happy hours and teaching people to hula in Heaven. I choose to remember the good times and to celebrate how he inspired all who knew him. And I hope I grow up to be as optimistic and joyful as Elliott.
- Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office. Just email email@example.com.
- For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: firstname.lastname@example.org .