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UpBeat Spiritual Living: If Heaven Had Voicemail

July 11, 2012

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved

Photo by PresentationPro

People have many ideas of how Heaven works and how we may talk to Heaven–also, whether, if one talked to Heaven, Heaven would actually talk back.  This is a huge and wonder-filled subject.  For now, let’s ask the questions: [W]hat if you could telephone Heaven? And what if Heaven had voicemail?  This possible Heavenly voicemail system circulated the Internet a while back.  The author is unknown:

[Ring, ring, ring.] Thank you for calling Heaven.

I am sorry, but all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
The Holy Spirit, press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.  For reservations in Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.



● Rev. Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 11, 2012 11:47 PM

    I love the idea of being able to leave a message for a loved one “assigned” to heaven–especially if they’d have the opportunity to return the call. Makes me think of the Justin Moore song, “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away”– I love that, too.

  2. July 12, 2012 12:58 AM

    I enjoyed reading your post. It made me smile and brought a nice start to my day. Thanks for sharing,


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